Henry VIII explains his breach with Rome

New historical evidence has emerged, explaining the reasons behind King Henry VIII's breach with Rome in the 1530s, which led ultimately to the Anglican church we know today.

Henry VIII - wanted to liberalize the Church.

"We have our own vision for the Anglican church," says King Henry in a previously unpublished document. "A church where women may become vicars, and dance in the aisle at weddings. A church where people like Archbishop Cranmer will be welcomed into our rooms in the morning to tell us that we are bigots if we let not a man wed another man."

Archbishop Cranmer (in papal camauro) shares a joke with Toynbee, the court jester.

Meanwhile, in Rome, Pope Paul III is also anxious to shock traditionalists. He is said to be planning a Council of Trent, which will turn orthodox Catholicism on its head. "We need to decide whether God is calling us to introduce liturgical dancing, puppet masses and homilies about 'my holiday in Paris'. I get regular letters in green ink from a very keen young man called Monsignor Basil Brushtus; he is urging us to drop Latin, and he has some most original ideas on how the Mass should be celebrated. But I've suggested that we come back to that in a few years time."

Monsignor Basil Brushtus - too revolutionary even for Pope Paul III.

"That is encouraging, but it does not go far enough," responds King Henry. "As King I am also ex officio Director of Liturgy round here, and I want to ensure that my song Greensleevesis used regularly at Mass. It is easily adapted to religious use:

Green! Green! Green are the sleeves!
Green! Green! Green are the sleeves!
Green! Green! Green are the sleeves!
Green are the sleeves of the Lord!

A one, a two, a one two three four... Green! Green! Green are the sleeves!

It is clear that these documents will force us to revise our views on the Reformation, and they will keep David Starkey in business for many years to come. Unfortunately.

Church of England near to a decision

From the Church Times, October 1532

I'm Henry VIII, I am.

The committee set up to appoint a new Archbishop of Canterbury in succession to William Warham (consisting of Henry Tudor, Henricus Rex, and the King) has finally come up with a shortlist of three names. The job involves running the Church of England on a day-to-day basis, and comes with an attractive package of benefits; its main disadvantage is the associated "early death" scheme, whereby the incumbent will probably be beheaded or burnt at the stake on leaving office.

---

Bernard Hepton Thomas Cranmer.

The hot favourite for the job (who may end up even hotter when Mary gets in) is Thomas Cranmer, the celebrity blogger, currently resident at the Court of the Holy Roman Emperor, "organic" Charles V. He is believed to be a favourite of Queen Catherine Anne. Cranmer tells us that he is very keen on liturgy, and would one day like to write his own Book of Common Prayer. Although brought up as a Catholic, he is now a firm Anglican (although some say he may yet recant if it becomes a burning issue).

---

Paul Scofield Thomas More.

Although a man for all seasons, the current Lord Chancellor, Thomas More, is not strictly speaking a priest; however, he is rumoured to be a very saintly man, who gets on well with the king. He is a regular speaker on Thought for the Day (we heard him speaking recently on Better 'tis to be fortunate than wise!), and is a best-selling novelist in his own right, whose Utopia is now on the National Curriculum. What will perhaps count against him is the fact that he is generally regarded as an Anglo-Catholic.

---

Ed Balls Thomas Cromwell.

If the job goes to a secular candidate - and King Henry is getting extremely irritated by priests - then another one to watch is Thomas Cromwell, and not just because he is a powerful man called Thomas. Regarded as a reformer who has denounced clerical abuses and the power of the ecclesiastical courts, Cromwell is likely to ruffle a few feathers in the General Synod. Coming from the Evangelical wing of the Church, he is keen to destroy idols and graven images, and keeps telling people he is "saved." Strongly supported by Dame Hilary de Mantel, the celebrity novelist.